Full Circle (1/10/20)
After several emotional and unsettling days, I became somewhat uncomfortably comfortable in the “not knowing.” In my mind that was better than receiving any possible new news. New news could be bad. New news could be very disheartening. New news could mean my lovely wife might have to endure much more than the anticipated lumpectomy. Yes, I was now okay immersed in my ignorance. I had finally settled in to a place of contentment in my life, once again.
However, midway through our Christmas vacation in Iowa, while chatting with my side of the family one afternoon, Rhonda’s phone rang. By the serious look on her beautiful face, and her quick exit to an isolated place in my parents’ house (the landing to be exact), I knew it was the surgeon – presumably with new news. I escaped to the bathroom, as to not to overhear my wife’s end of the conversation. Why? Because I was minutes, maybe seconds, away from probable new news that could very well disrupt my newfound place of ignorant contentedness.
I found myself having an out of body experience, if you will. I was there, yet I did not seem to be. I was aware, yet I did not possess all my faculties. Eventually, I came to. I looked in the mirror, blew my runny nose, and surveyed my surroundings. (Hey, I didn’t know the decor of my parents’ bathroom featured so many seashells.) I gathered my composure, as best I could, and then went searching for my wife – accompanied by a pit in my stomach and a lump in my throat. (Evidence, I think, that the mind and body are intertwined.)
I did not have to look too far to find the missus because she was right outside the bathroom door. Rhonda shared the good – no, the great – new news. The roller-coaster ride we’d been on the past several weeks came to a sudden halt, as we now knew where things stood instead of just guesses and assumptions. Nothing more to deal with! We seem to have come full circle. Rhonda will indeed undergo a lumpectomy. Who would’ve thought that would be cause for celebration? Praise be to God in EVERY circumstance!
March 5th, 2020 at 6:55 PM
Jim I really appreciate your sharing Rhonda and your story. As her mother I have felt a lot of the same feelings you have shared. But I know we will be okay because we have a loving God who will get US through it together. I am SO glad Rhonda has YOU to help get her through the coming days, weeks and months. You are a strong man and I know how much you love my “baby girl”! It gives me strength knowing she has YOU! Thank you Jim. I love you son!