Door Number One Or Door Number Two?

When did going to the bathroom become so complicated? It shouldn’t be, but transgenders have made the simple act of using a public restroom about as confusing as algebra. North Carolina’s General Assembly recently passed a law requiring individuals to use the restroom that corresponds with the sex listed on their birth certificate, and the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community is up in arms and claiming discrimination. A few businesses and celebrities are now boycotting the Tar Heel State in response to the passage of the “Bathroom Bill.” I think boycotting an entire state in protest of a new policy enacted by a few lawmakers is utter nonsense.

At first glance I thought the “Bathroom Bill” was a common sense law, but after looking at the new mandate a little closer I realized there is a slight problem with North Carolina’s new ordinance. I think transgenders who have completed the transitioning process should be permitted to use the marked facility coinciding with their new body. In fact, that’s the only restroom they should be able to use. Transgenders who have not yet transitioned (and possibly never will) should absolutely be forced to use the restroom matching their birth certificate. Occupying a gender-specific facility should be a biological matter rather than an emotional issue.

Allowing transgenders the right to choose either restroom, based on their feelings, discriminates against heterosexuals because we don’t have a choice. I am not against the LGBT having the same rights as everybody else. I don’t think a bakery should be allowed to deny an unconventional couple a wedding cake simply by exploiting “religious freedom.” That’s blatant discrimination and just bad business. However, I am opposed to the LGBT community maintaining additional liberties. I can’t help but think some members of the LGBT have acquired a sense of entitlement somewhere along the way. Transgender people make up only a miniscule portion of our society, yet it appears as if they want our nation’s majority to cater to them. It’s not as though they’re being denied the use of public restrooms in North Carolina.

Complaining about something is useless without offering any solutions; therefore, I propose the following possible alternatives to ponder. The all-inclusive solution, for proper public restroom etiquette, in all seriousness would be to segregate all sexual orientations. Every public building would need to provide a private facility for each type of sexual identity: gays, lesbians, heterosexual men, heterosexual women, bisexual men, bisexual women, male transgenders, and female transgenders. Of course, with some transgender people still in the transitioning phase there’d also have to be an additional couple of restrooms for the two kinds of “half and half’s.” Every business would need 10 separate restrooms to even be considered an all-inclusive organization. Too costly!

Another solution that’s probably more politically correct would be to remove all urinals from public restrooms thus converting them into gender-neutral facilities. Everybody would then be entitled to the same privacy as everyone else behind their own stall door. That certainly makes some sense, but I’m quite sure it would take ample time getting use to having every sexual identity in one restroom all at the same time. Too uncomfortable! Admittedly, at times I’ve had to deal with women coming into the men’s restroom especially during Rock concerts (beer and long lines for the ladies’ room tends to make some women impatient) and fathers bringing their young daughters in with them (I suppose for safety reasons), so maybe eventually we’d all adapt.

Neither of the aforementioned solutions are very feasible, so maybe we should just leave the public restroom protocol well enough alone. That’s not to say there aren’t a few flaws with the current system that’s already in place. Some businesses especially restaurants think it’s cute using vague images and “clever” names to separate the men’s and the women’s restrooms. Choosing the correct door to enter can sometimes be a crapshoot unless a person is well-versed in solving puzzles. Then there’s our local eatery, Uncle Sam’s, where the restroom doors are marked “President” and “First Lady.” I wonder what the pizza chain will do if a woman just so happens to get elected into the Oval Office come November. Yes, I think the best option is to leave our imperfect system alone and forget about pandering to a minute group of people who are making a lot of noise over nothing. I don’t think it’s asking too much for a person to use the marked facility that matches the individual’s lower body part.